First post on my first blog....

Strange, I'm doing this a couple of years after the "blog boom"... working with/in IT for the last 15 or so years it just seems odd... the time frame... well, to me at least!

Don't know how it all came crumbling down, but it did... The signs were all there, but like the proverbial frog being boiled, I've got burned big time...
Been married two years next August... after a seven year relationship... and it's over...
Got the "news" a couple of days ago... Don't know how to react... Been too numb to do anything.
Can't blame her either... we simply grew apart... we're great friends, and that's all. Guess the love is gone... and it left a while ago!!!
She saved me from myself when we met. I was becoming a snob prick! Learned a lot. And I grew a lot to!

I'm left now with a really great void, a sense that she never really knew how much I loved her and how much she meant to me!

She's living here, but it's like a room mate! She needs somewhere to stay while she's straighting her life, and I can't honestly ask her to leave.

Now I'm left all alone. She's the one I talked about everything...
Had a best friend, but he's kinda of dating her... So can't talk to him either.

It's hard to explain how I feel... Don't feel cheated, because she's been straightforward with me through all this...and I'm guilty of letting the love die..
Just feel empty... and robbed! With no one to talk to!

I've numbed down myself, to take the time to sink it all in....
Guess it was destined to be like this... that doesn't mean it's less painful!

Life's kind of on auto pilot now...

"What doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger": I ain't dead yet, but feel deeply weakened by the blunt of it all!!!!

Been "locked down" these couple of weekends... don't know where to go or what to do...
don't wanna talk to anyone...

It's almost 2 in the morning... don't want go to sleep. the bed is empty... and feels very very cold.
Don't care about anything...
The loss seems unbearable!

Just need a place to let it all out... at this moment this is as good it gets...


To those of you in the same boat: you're not alone...
Life's a bitch... can't have it any other way...